Bisexuality is still a sexual expression that is highly ostracized within modern society, and difficult to understand— even for those who engage in it.

Bicurious. Heteroflexible. Greedy. Confused. Bisexuality has often received a less than warm welcome into the ever expanding world of sexual identity and expression. The “just gay with an extra step” rhetoric is thrown around by both sides of the binary sexual expression camps. Not straight enough to be straight, not gay enough to be gay. Even mainstream bisexual porn can be a bit confusing, as it often depicts classic gang bangs, or focuses on female-on-female interactions, carefully avoiding male on male. While more genuine bisexual porn can reasonably help us explore our sexualities, particularly those that genuinely explore what it really means to be bisexual.

While there are cues that suggest society is coming around to the idea of bisexuality— like the watershed series Schitt’s Creek’s iconic scene where the main character David Rose likens his sexuality to wine, saying “I like the wine, not the label” helping to clarify his penchant for any sexual orientation/gender to his co-star. Bringing forward the idea of bisexuality and pansexuality into the mainstream eye.

Starting to Explore

There are a number of bisexual tendencies or naughty thoughts that tend to surface time to time for all individuals— things like dirty dreams, enjoying a bit of new and exciting bisexual porn now and again, or even feeling attracted to members of the opposite sex— however, these things don’t necessarily a bisexual make. Sexuality is an extremely fluid and ever-changing and evolving part of our psyches and personalities. Which means that sometimes things that are taboo, or things we’d never actually want to experience in real life— like rape or incest— can actually be pretty hot when displayed on your favorite porn channel.

But just because you have no real desire to be ravaged by a violent stranger girl, you may not actually be bisexual just because you like watching these types of porn. That being said, enjoying these types of porn and having naught night nookie might mean you are bisexual. The only way to know for sure is to really start exploring your sexuality. This means getting honest with yourself and really exploring some routinely difficult to answer questions. Things like “Do I feel happy when I consider or label myself as bisexual?” Or “Do I want to be in a romantic and/or physical relationship with a member of either (any) gender?”

How to Know if You’re Bisexual

Ultimately, the only way to truly know whether or not bisexuality is for you is to go out and see if you’re bisexual. For those who may be in committed relationships, it’s important to be open and honest about your thoughts or concerns with your partner. Explaining your feelings in such a way that best represents you. Whether or not you plan on acting on these feelings, is something that you should also discuss with your partner candidly.

For those who find themselves to be single, it can be helpful to find support groups or forums online, before diving headfirst into the bisexuality label and lifestyle. However, if the thought of being bisexual feels right, it probably is right. This being said, the bisexual community still deals with a shocking amount of discrimination— so it can sometimes be helpful to find allies you can talk to if you are unsure about your personal desires and directions.